A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
