I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
