he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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