Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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