Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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