sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
