wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
