I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
