Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
