so let's talk penis.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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