you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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