all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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