it wasn't lemon gatorade
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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