Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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