Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
