I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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