For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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