I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize