He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
