wat bout pragnant strippers??
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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