I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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