she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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