Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
