I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you