He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.