What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
