i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance