so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...