I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
