How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
