btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
