May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
