doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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