last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
