Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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