bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
