My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
