YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
