My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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