I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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