is this the sara with the beer cane?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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