and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
