Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
