Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
