also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize