i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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