he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
