Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
