It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
