I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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