ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize