my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
