We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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