guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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