the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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