he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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