I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
