The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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